Cinderella Ate MY Daughter, Too. So What?!

I heard an interview with Peggy Orenstein, author of Cinderella Ate My Daughter, on The Diane Rehm Show a few days ago, and have been SO annoyed ever since. My friends and family are tired of hearing me rant about this, so you, lucky readers, are about to get a dose. Read the full transcript of the interview with Orenstein here to see what set me off.
(Let me also say that I haven't read the book, nor do I think I would be able to make it through the whole book without my head exploding, so this blog post is based on the Rehm interview with Orenstein, and material I read online after the interview, which includes other interviews with Orenstein, and other articles by Orenstein.)

My first reaction when listening to the interview was that Peggy Orenstein needed to CALM DOWN.
When I started nosing around the internet for more info on Orenstein, I also started to think that she has managed to pull a fast one on everyone out there who buys her book, because it seems like she's managed to write a entire book about something that basically annoys her (pervasive girly-girl culture), and in her efforts to "dig deeper into the issue" she ends up attempting to connect a lot of vaguely sinister dots that link the Disney princesses and the color pink to early sexualization of girls, teen depression, eating disorders, and so on--resulting in a grand conspiracy theory of doom for our daughters. Which I wouldn't have a problem with if the sinister dots actually connected, but in this case, I think it's manufactured hysteria to a large degree, and apparently so did this caller from the Rehm interview:

REHM
Paul wants to know what evidence Peggy has that this adversely affects little girls.

ORENSTEIN

Well, I cannot tell you that one plus one equals two. You know, there is no -- I can tell you that stereotype exposure, as I said earlier, affects young women strongly. You know, that's also true with underrepresented minority groups. The same kinds of things happen. So stereotype exposure is really important. I can tell you that girls' concerns, according to polls, about beauty and body have gone way up since the year 2000, and that cannot be a good thing. And that generally this culture of girlhood has been creating greater emphasis on beauty and body and that the impact has been seen in a rise of -- for instance, the American Pediatric Association has now put out a warning to pediatricians to be monitoring children under 12 for eating disorders.

Mmm hmm. Babble babble, stumble stumble, um er, etc. To me, it sounds like in all her poring over studies and research, she found no conclusive evidence that would allow her to answer this caller with a "Yes! There is evidence that playing princesses to excess and obsessing over the color pink results in [insert negative result here.]"  

Here's the thing--YES, there is a crazy amount of girly girl marketing out there. Disney hits heavier than a sledgehammer with the princess marketing--you can buy almost anything with a princess on it, from a pillowcase, to a tennis racket. And if your daughter doesn't know who the Disney princesses are when they start preschool, they will quickly learn. Orenstein's right about that. Pink is everywhere, EVERYWHERE, along with sparkles and fluff. I have a four-year-old, so of course I've noticed this--the pink LEGO sets and their girly themes are my own particular Big Huge Annoyance. And as much as Elle would adore a bed-in-the-bag set with a princess theme, I am almost physically sickened by the thought of having to tuck her in to all that polyester tackiness, so it simply will.not.be. So yeah, I'm perfectly capable of joining Orenstein with example after example of princess pink overkill, but....why bother? Because I really don't buy this idea that the Disney princesses are destroying our future "womyn".  Kids move through phases of like and dislike quicker than you can say PillowPetsquinkiepixos. Today, it's all princesses all the time, tomorrow it's...pandas. Or whatever. Just roll with it, and use your mom common sense.

Also, while I understand Orenstein's dislike of her daughter's sudden hijacking by the pink princesses, I think the picture she paints in the interview of a nation of one-dimensional girlchildren that eat, drink, and inhale pink, princesses, and all things girly girl at the expense of all else is misleading, and quite frankly, insulting.  I know an awful lot of 3 - 5 year-old girls, and they are multidimensional little people, with a wide range of interests, talents and preferences. They love princesses, sure, but any mom worth her salt can easily, EASILY steer her child toward additional interests that meet mom's criteria of what her kid "should" be interested in (if that's how the parent wants to control the kid, that is.) Kids are great that way--pick up a leaf, or a cool rock, or kneel over a weird looking bug and call to your daughter, "Hey look! This is so cool!", and chances are they will run over, eyes alight, ready to buy what you're selling. Yes, kids can be dangerously easy to influence, but here's the thing. THE biggest influence in a little girl's life is almost always mom--not a doll, a TV show, a movie, or a combo of the three. You lead, they follow. Crazy, huh?

Admittedly, constant marketing to girls is pervasive, but to hear Orenstein making SUCH a big deal about the evil influences of the marketing machine as if they are insurmountable or even particularly daunting to today's parents is just...annoying in the year 2011. Most of us moms weren't born yesterday. We're hip to the game, and (hopefully) fully equipped to counteract it when we need to. The idea that girls transition from princess-loving preschooler to prematurely-sexualized tramp-in-training, and then move on to depression and eating disorders, all while the parents stand cluelessly by?  I say "prove it." And in the meantime, if you're truly overwhelmed and perplexed by Pink Princess World and how to fight its evils, here are some neat and easy little tricks to counteract the effects:

* don't buy, rent, or watch Disney movies.

* turn off the TV

* don't go to the Disney store

* don't take your kids shopping with you

* when you have to take your kids shopping with you, skip the toy section

* institute a "don't ask" policy when shopping. Rule being: "Do not ask me for anything at the store. We are not here to shop for you, we are here to shop for _[groceries]__." And never, ever give in to the inevitable requests. Eventually, they will not ask, for princess fruit snacks, sippy cups, or anything else.

* If you feel like princesses are becoming an obsession, or getting out of control, and that bothers you, use your Power as a Parent to turn the tide. Or not. First, ask yourself if you buy into the Princesses are Evil hype--do you really care if your kid wants to wear Snow White clothes or Thomas the Train shirts every day for an indeterminate length of time? If not, don't sweat it, and focus your childrearing attention on something you deem important, like healthy food, bullying, exercise, or toothbrushing, etc.  You are the adult. You are the parent. You have the power. Yes--the Princess Power.